1.42 Jake's pain

Laura looked at her son and said, “You want to talk about your sister, Ava?” Jake sat down and asked, “Why did you never tell us till now?” Laura knew this was coming and sat next Jake and softly replied, “Hunny, you were too young at the time, I mean you were just a toddler. You did ask why I was upset at the time but I didn’t know how to tell you that you had a baby sister but she had died.”

“Mum, you could have tried when we were older.”

“I’m so sorry, I really am but I was so wrapped up in losing her that I never thought down the line it would ever hurt you or Kirsten like this.” Jake stared at the floor, “How come I miss her when I never knew her?”

Laura looked at Daniel and then he spoke, “Jake, do you remember when you asked your Mum about the new doll for Kirsten?” Jake looked at him puzzled as his Dad continued, “You asked to hold the pretty doll…”

“I remember now she was very pretty and pale.”

Dan now had to break the news, “It wasn't a pretty doll; you held your sister, Ava.” Jake looked horrified but Dan added, “We brought her home ready for her funeral and family came to see her. Kirsten didn’t want to know but you were persistent and kept asking to see her and kept saying she’s pretty, can we keep her. We cried and said we wished we could but you didn't understand.”

“I held my…” Jake trailed off as he started to cry. Laura held him, “Sweetheart please don’t cry you weren’t to know.”

“How could I think she was a doll?”

“You were 3 years old.”

“I should have known, Mum.”

“Jake you listen to me, you did nothing wrong. I’m sorry you are hurting but you have to remember you were three at the time.”

“Did you want more children?”

“Of course we did but after Ava died it was so painful, I couldn’t bear to lose another child.” Jake now asked even more hard questions, “Is this why you both argued?”

They looked and just nodded and Jake just kept firing the questions, “Why did you not help each other through the most difficult time?”

Dan answered this question, “We were so wrapped up in our emotions that we forgot about each other. Your Mum separating from me was the best thing she did because it made me realise that I love her so much that I can’t live without her. All of you are important to me and without you all I couldn’t cope. You may think being a man and sharing my feelings like this is lame but not sharing them got me in this mess.” Jake then asked a question that shocked his parents, “Can we have a service for Ava that includes me and Kirsten?”

Dan answered, “If it will help then the answer is yes because I think it would be good for the four of us.” Jake looked at his Dad, “I want Kay there, she is my girlfriend and Andrew needs to be there too for Kirsten.”

“Jake, do you love Kay?” Jake thought for a moment but he wanted to be honest as they had been with him.

“Yes I do. I went to see her and told her about Ava.”

“Son you have a good woman there don’t ruin it. Do you see a future with her?” Jake thought about his future with Kay but he wasn’t ready to tell his parents this part, not yet anyway. He thought about Kay 24/7 since he set eyes on her when she performed. It had been 2 days since he’d seen her to tell her about Ava and he hated them being apart. The more time he was away from her the more he wanted her and he wasn’t sure how to handle these feelings.

“All I know is that I love spending time with her, Dad.”

“The moment I set eyes on your Mum, I knew she was the girl of my dreams.” Laura cupped Dan’s face, “You really thought that?”

“I did baby and I promised you the world and now I have time on my hands I’m going to show you, like we planned.”

“But I thought…”

“Darling you are my world, we are going on an extended holiday after the funeral, just you and me.” Jake hated interrupting the love between his parents, “Do you like Kay?”

“We love Kay,” his mum voiced.

“Dad, please speak to Kay again because I would like you all to get along.” Dan agreed and invited them both out the next time she was home.

In the morning Jake was by the car impatiently waiting, “Matt I thought you got Hazel to cut her luggage in half.”

“I tried but she wouldn't listen.” 

Jake yelled at Hazel, “Two suitcases, Haz and no more. I’ll bring the rest when I come up next week but not now.” Hazel just growled at Jake, “Fine.”

“Now get in the car, I want to get there early.”

1.41 Feeling the pressure

Andrew listened to Kirsten as she poured her heart out about Ava. “Kirsten I’m here,” as he tightened his grip. She wiped the tears away and said, “Thanks for being here.” 

He looked at her with a smile and replied, “I’ll always be here.” Kirsten got up to get ready as they were going to her parents, “What else did you want to talk about?”

“Dad is retiring from the business and wants Jake and I to run it.” Andrew was surprised, “How do you feel about it? I mean you work for me!” Kirsten narrowed her eyes on Andrew, “Do you want sex tonight?” Kirsten didn’t wait for a reply as she continued, “We agreed you’d never bring that up into our relationship. I may work for your company but I’m not your secretary.” 

Andrew pulled her towards him, “Kirsten I was teasing you. Can we skip visiting your parents and go straight to the sex part?” She whispered in his ear, “No we can’t and later.”

After Dinner, Andrew sat there in silence while Dan looked at him until Dan broke the ice, “Do you have something to ask?”

Andrew was starting to feel the pressure. Even though he had put Dan in his place now that they were starting to get on this felt different somehow, especially because it meant a lot to Kirsten. “Daniel…I…I would like your permission to marry your daughter.” 

Kirsten saw Andrew’s face, “Mum can’t you stop Dad grilling him?”

“Andrew will do fine stop worrying. Now what kind of wedding do you want?”

Dan hadn’t given his permission yet and wanted to see that spark in Andrew before he said it was ok.

“I want to marry Kirsten because I love her with all my heart; she is my life and most of all because she is a wonderful person with a big heart. I could go on but I think you know the rest.”

“You didn’t mention once the word money in your little speech, congratulations and welcome to the family.” 

They shook hands but Dan spoke firmly, “You break my little girl’s heart in anyway and you will be sorry.” Andrew understood and responded with a nod. 

Kirsten came over wrapping herself into Andrew’s chest smiling, “I’m glad you are getting on.”

Laura then started, “If you are having the wedding at your house, you will need to get extra chairs, flowers oh and the alter…” Kirsten shouted, “Mum please slow down we are just engaged. Please let us enjoy this.” 

Andrew added, “It will be a short engagement but Kirsten and I would like it our way.” Laura tried to object but when she saw Dan’s face she backed off. However he did say, “I will pay for the wedding Kirsten wants and the honeymoon.” 

Kirsten hugged her Dad and quietly said thank you.

Matt walked in to find boxes and bags everywhere, “Hunny, we are going to university not moving house.” Hazel giggled, “I know but I need my clothes.”

In shock Matt shouted, “Clothes…all these are clothes?”

“No not all, they have my shoes and makeup. That small bag is my university stuff.” 

Matt hated arguing with her but said firmly, “You are not taking it all with you. We are sharing a room and where would I put my stuff.”

“I don’t know…”

“Narrow it down Hazel. We are going in the morning and Jake won’t wait around because he’s missing Kay.” 

Matt started to walk out the room and Hazel started to mutter to herself, Matt shouted, “I heard that.” Hazel shouted back, “You were meant too. Men.”

Jake was busy on the phone, “I can’t wait to see you. How many hours is it now.” Kay giggled, “How old are you? There is a party on campus, do you want to go?”

“Umm no because the party I have in mind is an invite for two.” 

Kay who couldn’t resist asked, “What type of dress code is there?”

“There is no dress code.” Kay’s imagination started working overtime as she nervously bit her lip, “I really can’t wait. I have studying to do and if I don’t do it I won’t be able to attend your party.”

“Then you better go and study. Kay, before you go about the other day I just want to say thanks.”

Kay smiled as she asked, “Have you spoken to them yet?”

“Not yet but I will. I’m seeing them when I get back, to go through taking over the business.”

“What business?”

“I tell you all about it over the weekend.”

“Night Jake.”

“Night, night, love you!” 
“Love you too.”
After the call Jake made a decision he wanted to talk to his parents before he went to see Kay as he didn’t want it hanging over his head.

1.40 I'll be waiting

When Tracy said Spencer could stay the night he assumed that it meant the same bed. He quickly learnt that Tracy meant the sofa and not their bed. He was this close to being with woman he loved yet she was playing games. She had reminded him of the deal that he promised the house had to be finished. He had tried every seductive trick on Tracy after everyone had left. He kissed her slowly on the neck, nibbled on her ear whispering sweet nothings but no she wouldn’t give in, ‘Damn that woman. I need her so desperately.’

Tracy walked in the room and placed a mug next to Spencer, “Morning, sleepy head.” He eyed every part of her, ‘That material is so thin, if I pull it then it will fall to the floor then she can’t say no, right.”

“Don’t look at me like that, Spenc.” He looked like he was ready to pounce on Tracy as his eyes narrowed. 

He slowly got up and inched his way closer towards her, “You shouldn’t wear something so inviting if you don’t want me to remove it.” Tracy smiled and teased him more, “The bed is too big for one…is the kitchen getting done today?” 

Spencer didn’t answer as he grabbed Tracy pulling her to the floor and started kissing her, “I can’t wait…I want you now.”

“I know you do but we need to get things sorts.” Tracy saw the look in his eyes and it meant one thing he wanted her desperately, “If we get things done then you can have me, Spenc.” He kissed her deeply running his hand across her face and started to move his hand in a downward motion when they heard a cough. 

“Aren’t you too old to be doing that?” They both looked up to see Mathew staring at them. They both got up and Spencer said, “We aren’t too old but I can see why you would think that.”

Kay had arrived late for class yet again. She spent the night talking on the phone to Jake, starved of his affection it was now affecting her work and Kay had already been told to buck up her ideas or face being kicked out of university. 

It was now her third day and she knew if she really wanted to be a doctor then she would have to drain Jake out of her system long enough to get the studying done.

After the lecture was over she headed back to the dormitory to find Jake sitting on the bed. 

Kay ran straight into his arms and screamed in excitement, “What are you doing here? I’m glad to see you but…Jake,” she squeezed him tightly. “Baby, I’m sorry to turn up like this but I needed to see you.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I snapped at Mum and Dad because I just found out I have another sister. She was my baby sister but Ava died an hour after being born and they choose now to tell us.”

“I really don’t know what to say. How is Kirsten with all this?”

“She is upset but apparently she understands from their point of view.”

“Don’t you see it from their side?” 

Jake started to pace the floor, “Sort of…I don’t know. I just can’t believe they didn’t say anything to us.”

“They must have had their reasons.” Jake was upset and angry and snapped at Kay, “Reasons…all I know is I had a baby sister that I never knew about.”

“Jake, calm down. It will be ok.”

“No it won’t. Coming here to talk was a mistake. I’ll see you on the weekend.” 

Jake stormed out and Kay went after him. She caught up to him just as he got to the doors, “Jake, please let’s discuss this. You are upset and you came here to talk so please talk.”

“I’ll see you in a few days.” 

Jake started to drive home and remembered his Dad’s words, don’t break her heart. He stopped the car and turned around and went back. 

When he entered the room he found her crying on the bed he lay next to her pulling her close and said, “I’m sorry, it’s just I’m finding this hard to take in and I shouldn’t take it out on you.” 

Kay turned to him and said, “You wanted to try the relationship route, well you have to talk to me and not bite my head off. I’m your girlfriend and you obviously needed to talk to me otherwise you wouldn’t have come here.”

Jake started to pace the floor again and began talking, “I don’t know what bothers me more them keeping it from us or the fact I have this little sister that I’ll never meet.” 

Kay put her arms around him. She didn’t say anything but listened, “I keep wondering what she would have been like. Would Ava annoy me like Kirsten does at times or would we get on? Who would she look like?

It’s ok to have all these feeling because in a way I think you are grieving but you need to tell your parents this too.”

“I need to work through this more before I tell them all this. Maybe talking to Kirsten first would be better.”

“Are they going to counselling?”

“Yes they are, why?”

“A session with all of you might be good.”

“I’m not seeing a shrink just because they are. I’ll talk to them I promise.”

“Just think about it and most importantly talk to them.”

Jake gave her a quick kiss and replied, “I will talk to them and it means a lot you listened but I have to go. I have to be the station early to do some maintenance but I’ll see you Friday?” Kay stroked his cheek and said, “I’ll be here waiting.”

1.39 Truth

Dan held his wife as she cried through hers tears and muttered, “They will hate us for keep this from them.” Dan stared into her eyes for a moment then replied, “We tried telling once but they were too young at the time. The kids will be upset but they won’t hate us.” There was a knock at the door Dan kissed her gently then told Laura to sit down while he got the door.

Kirsten and Jake were stunned to see their Dad answer the door and the first thing Kirsten said as they walked in, “You have come together to tell us you are divorcing.” Jake shot a disgusted look at Kirsten because he didn’t want them to get a divorce but he also didn’t want the idea planted in their head either, “I was just asking.” Kirsten replied to Jake.

Dan looked at his children and firmly stated, “We are not getting a divorce but this is what we need to talk to you both about.” They all sat down and they could see by their Mum’s face that this was serious. 

Jake quietly asked, “What is this all about?” 

Dan stood by the fire place and wondered how to begin then started, “There is no easy way to tell you and I’m sorry for the blunt way but a few years after you were born, Jake. We were expecting again and after an intense labour your Mum gave birth to a little girl we named Ava.” Dan could feel his emotions start to get the better of him. 

Laura hugged him and continued, “She was so beautiful and tiny but what should have been the most wonderful time in our life turned sour when after just ten minutes Ava started changing colour. I screamed and your Dad got the doctors but it was too late. They did try and save her but there was nothing that could be done. Ava died just an hour after being born.”

Kirsten and Jake sat there in silence trying to take in what they had just been told. 

Jake looked at his parents and asked, “Ava’s death started the arguments and Dad, is this why you worked the long hours?”

Dan looked at the floor and then back to Jake, “I’m ashamed to say that yes to ignore my feelings and pretend nothing was wrong I buried myself in my work.” 

Then he glanced at Laura and added, “When all along I had a beautiful wife and two great kids that needed me.”

Laura added, “We should have grieved together not push each other away.” Kirsten asked, “Where is Ava buried?”

Dan answered Kirsten, “She is buried in Monte Vista in the local graveyard.”

Jake’s head was spinning and he wasn’t sure whether he was angry or sad, maybe even a little of both. 

He stood up just staring at his parents a little confused, “So you had another baby, our sister and you forget to talk about her as if she never existed. How dare you do that to us?”

Kirsten understood where Jake was coming from but could also see that her parents had been through enough hell of their own, “I understand what Jake is saying as I feel the same but you should have said. You always taught us to talk through our problems yet here you are burying your own.”

Laura hugged Kirsten and said, “You are right, we should have taken our own advice.” Then she turned to Jake and hugged him, “I’m sorry for hurting you please forgive me?”

Jake hated when his Mum played that card because in spite of everything he loved his Mum, “I don’t hate you, I’m just upset with both of you.”

“I know you are baby.”

 After Dan had hugged his kids he also told them that they had starting grievance counselling and their first step was to be honest with their children.

As they ate their lunch the atmosphere felt strained but Jake broke the silence, “Did she have a nice funeral?” Then Kirsten asked, “Did she have flowers?”

Laura stopped eating and snapped, “I don’t want to talk about her.” Dan snapped at Laura, “Her name was Ava. You aren’t the only one grieving here. I lost her too. I won’t let you push me or the kids away again.” 

He pulled her into him, Laura tried to struggle but Dan wouldn’t let go. “Please answer their questions.”

Laura wiped her tears away and said quietly, “Ava had a beautiful funeral and she had more teddy bears than flowers. She would have been 21 tomorrow. I’m really sorry…it’s just I’m used to not talking about Ava.” Jake finally could see the pain it was causing both his parents and replied, “I’m sorry it’s painful for you and if you want I’ll stop asking questions.”

Laura looked at him and smiled, “No your Dad is right, we can’t pretend anymore, she was part of our lives even if it was a short time but we loved her very much and still do. However we need to talk to you about something else.”

They sat around the table again and Dan said, “I decided the most important things in my life are my wife and kids. I knew the only way your Mum would take me back was if I retired. This is what I’m doing and the business will now become both of yours.” Suddenly there was an echo as Kirsten and Jake replied in shock, “What!”

Dan laughed slightly, “You are both older enough to handle it.” Jake had panic written all over him, “I’m a fire fighter. How can I run a business as well?” 

Before Dan could answer Kirsten got in first, “I have plans, big plans…this is not a good time for me.” Laura looked at her daughter, “What are the big plans?” Kirsten looked at her Mum and said, “It doesn’t matter I mean maybe today is not the right time.” Dan looked sweetly at his daughter, “You are still our daughter and whatever we have discussed today, we still have time to listen. So what is it?”

Kirsten blurted it out still not sure if she should say, “I’m getting married.” Laura suddenly had a big grin on her face, “That’s wonderful news.” Then she started firing questions at Kirsten, “We are going to have to sort out the venue, the dresses, this is so exciting.” Dan saw Kirsten’s face and said, “Darling stop, look at Kirsten maybe you should ask her what wedding she wants?”

Kirsten felt relief wash over her and calmly added, “Daddy thank you. I don’t want a big wedding and I don’t want business associates there either. I want the wedding at our home, small, simple but beautiful.”

Dan pulled Kirsten in for another hug and replied, “That’s my girl but I will pay for a honeymoon. Congratulations too.” Then they saw Laura on the phone telling family and friends. Jake just sat there pleased it wasn’t him getting married then Kirsten asked, “Dad stop her?”

“Mother of the bride, I hate to say this but this is what your Mum does but between us we will make sure the wedding doesn’t get out of hand.”