1.42 Jake's pain

Laura looked at her son and said, “You want to talk about your sister, Ava?” Jake sat down and asked, “Why did you never tell us till now?” Laura knew this was coming and sat next Jake and softly replied, “Hunny, you were too young at the time, I mean you were just a toddler. You did ask why I was upset at the time but I didn’t know how to tell you that you had a baby sister but she had died.”

“Mum, you could have tried when we were older.”

“I’m so sorry, I really am but I was so wrapped up in losing her that I never thought down the line it would ever hurt you or Kirsten like this.” Jake stared at the floor, “How come I miss her when I never knew her?”

Laura looked at Daniel and then he spoke, “Jake, do you remember when you asked your Mum about the new doll for Kirsten?” Jake looked at him puzzled as his Dad continued, “You asked to hold the pretty doll…”

“I remember now she was very pretty and pale.”

Dan now had to break the news, “It wasn't a pretty doll; you held your sister, Ava.” Jake looked horrified but Dan added, “We brought her home ready for her funeral and family came to see her. Kirsten didn’t want to know but you were persistent and kept asking to see her and kept saying she’s pretty, can we keep her. We cried and said we wished we could but you didn't understand.”

“I held my…” Jake trailed off as he started to cry. Laura held him, “Sweetheart please don’t cry you weren’t to know.”

“How could I think she was a doll?”

“You were 3 years old.”

“I should have known, Mum.”

“Jake you listen to me, you did nothing wrong. I’m sorry you are hurting but you have to remember you were three at the time.”

“Did you want more children?”

“Of course we did but after Ava died it was so painful, I couldn’t bear to lose another child.” Jake now asked even more hard questions, “Is this why you both argued?”

They looked and just nodded and Jake just kept firing the questions, “Why did you not help each other through the most difficult time?”

Dan answered this question, “We were so wrapped up in our emotions that we forgot about each other. Your Mum separating from me was the best thing she did because it made me realise that I love her so much that I can’t live without her. All of you are important to me and without you all I couldn’t cope. You may think being a man and sharing my feelings like this is lame but not sharing them got me in this mess.” Jake then asked a question that shocked his parents, “Can we have a service for Ava that includes me and Kirsten?”

Dan answered, “If it will help then the answer is yes because I think it would be good for the four of us.” Jake looked at his Dad, “I want Kay there, she is my girlfriend and Andrew needs to be there too for Kirsten.”

“Jake, do you love Kay?” Jake thought for a moment but he wanted to be honest as they had been with him.

“Yes I do. I went to see her and told her about Ava.”

“Son you have a good woman there don’t ruin it. Do you see a future with her?” Jake thought about his future with Kay but he wasn’t ready to tell his parents this part, not yet anyway. He thought about Kay 24/7 since he set eyes on her when she performed. It had been 2 days since he’d seen her to tell her about Ava and he hated them being apart. The more time he was away from her the more he wanted her and he wasn’t sure how to handle these feelings.

“All I know is that I love spending time with her, Dad.”

“The moment I set eyes on your Mum, I knew she was the girl of my dreams.” Laura cupped Dan’s face, “You really thought that?”

“I did baby and I promised you the world and now I have time on my hands I’m going to show you, like we planned.”

“But I thought…”

“Darling you are my world, we are going on an extended holiday after the funeral, just you and me.” Jake hated interrupting the love between his parents, “Do you like Kay?”

“We love Kay,” his mum voiced.

“Dad, please speak to Kay again because I would like you all to get along.” Dan agreed and invited them both out the next time she was home.

In the morning Jake was by the car impatiently waiting, “Matt I thought you got Hazel to cut her luggage in half.”

“I tried but she wouldn't listen.” 

Jake yelled at Hazel, “Two suitcases, Haz and no more. I’ll bring the rest when I come up next week but not now.” Hazel just growled at Jake, “Fine.”

“Now get in the car, I want to get there early.”