1.58 Let them help you

In the kitchen the girls were getting snacks and drinks ready when Kirsten asked, “When are you going to stay here again?”

“I miss you too Kirsten.”

“Well my best friend is at university and my future sister in-law isn’t here and I’m stuck with grown children.” Kay was in shock at the statement and in a panic asked, “What did you say?”

“Sorry forget I said it, please don’t take off. Jake will kill me.”

“Has he said something?”

“No it’s just the way he is with you and you are with him…I know it’s silly but I just thought you’d get married.”

Kay sat on the counter, “You know before this happened I thought of a future but now…”

“Please Kay think happy it’s the only way.”

Andrew shouted from the living room that the film was ready. Jake was upset he was resigned to a chair when all he could think about was Kay sitting on his lap while they watched a film together. Kirsten snuggled up to Andrew on the sofa and Kay took the other chair and smiled at Jake.

She noticed how comfortable Kirsten looked and thought, ‘I miss that, Jake’s arms around me. I miss the nights when he holds me so I don’t feel alone, why can’t I let him near me? I did it the other day but why not now?’

After the film had finished she told Jake to get some rest and went to her appointment.

Counselling Office

Kay looked angry and upset as she paced the floor, “Kay are you ok?”

“No, I want my life back. I want to be with my boyfriend again but why can’t I?”

“Kay, you need to let go and talk about what happened.” 

Kay sat there and decided to try and talk, “The other day you asked when? Well I was 3 or 4 years old. I was woken by a noise and there standing in front of me was him my…my…Dad, he was naked. He walked over and pulled back the covers and said we were going to play a game. I felt sick and scared but thankfully as he was getting into bed my Mum walked in and screamed at him. They started to argue and I ran. I saw my Dad in the street.”

“You mean Spencer?”

“He is my Dad, anyway I told him Mum and Dad were arguing and he took me back to the house but when Mum told him what happened…well he punched my Dad and threw him out. Next thing I knew I was at the doctors with policewoman there and my Mum.”

“Did the doctors help you?”

“I thought so until he turned up again. There now I told you will this help me.”

“It’s a start. Tell me about your boyfriend.”

“Jake, what’s there to tell…”

“You must like him or you wouldn’t be dating.”

“Well he’s Jake, did you know he nagged me into a date.”

“He is good looking?”

Kay softened her expression as she let a smile across her face, “Very good looking and boy can he kiss.”

“Didn’t you tell me he was a firefighter?”

Kay nodded and the professor added, “Does it bother you?”

“Sometimes but I can’t ask him to quit. I mean we’ve only been going out about 6 weeks.”

“Does he know what happened?”

“I told him about when I was younger and he knows about this too except…” Kay fell silent and the professor spoke, “Except this is what is causing the conflict within you? The man you have fallen for is now the one you are pushing away yet you want to let him near you.”

Kay looked at the floor as she continued, “You know it is all up to you. If he loves you then he will wait but remember he might not wait forever.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean he won’t wait years but that doesn’t mean he will expect you to have sex straight away either. You need to open up here with Jake and the others in your life you need to decide can you trust them and take it day by day. With your boyfriend for example let him hold your hand or cuddle you to start and move on from there but it has to be when you are ready and with no pressure on you. Remember the key here is to talk to him and if you love him don’t shut him out.”

“Everyone has said that.”

“It sounds like you have good family and friends.”

“I do.”

“Then let them help you.”