1.59 Can we talk

Kay’s head was full of confused thoughts. ‘My professor is right I love Jake but I have to do it step by step. Then there is Matt, I want quality time with him without Hazel around. 

Kay was snapped out of her thoughts by a knock at the door and when she answered there was no-one there, accept a vase of flowers with a card. She brought them in and saw the card was addressed to her and it read,

Kay,

I would like to invite you to dinner so we can talk, please say yes

Love Jake

Xxx

Suddenly that warm glow had crept back on her face so she dialled his number. When Jake answered she asked, “Why didn’t you stay when you dropped the flowers, which by the way are very beautiful.”

“As are you, Kay. I just thought it would be better for you to feel no pressure and me standing there with flowers…well, you might have said no.”

“It’s not a formal dress up date?”

“No, I just want to talk and I begged Dad to pull some strings to get into this restaurant. As it has beautiful views so all I need is you to make it perfect.”

Restaurant

Jake had been waiting thirty minutes for Kay to show up. He started to wonder if she had changed her mind. Suddenly he saw Kay enter the restaurant. 

He stood up as she approached the table and smiled at her as she took her seat and said, “You look wonderful.”

Kay smiled as she remembered what her professor told her, no pressure and try and let him hold your hand. “I decided I could do with dressing up, I hope it’s ok. Anyway what did you want to talk about?”

“I miss you, Kay. Please talk to me.” 

Kay took a deep breath and replied, “What do you want to know?”

“I want to know everything but what to do you want to tell me?” Kay had a tear down her face when she said, “I miss you too and I want the way things were between us. How I hate feeling like this. How I’m in so much conflict right now.”

Jake reached for her hand and this time Kay let him. Kay continued, “When I was a toddler my Dad came into my room and tried to get into bed with me naked but my Mum walked in.” Jake squeezed her hand tighter as he listened intently to her, “I felt sick and scared but I thought I dealt with it. When he told me who he was I had that sick feeling again and when he tried to touch me all I could think was how could he do this to me. I never did anything to him. When he said those vile things to me all I wanted to do was be with you. Sounds stupid right? Since I’ve been trying to avoid you.” Kay was starting to tear up so Jake told the waiter to hold their food as Kay needed some air.

Jake sat next to her and said, “This was a stupid idea…” Kay cut him off, “What! No it wasn’t. It was a sweet and romantic idea.” She leaned against Jake’s shoulder and he froze too scared to move in case she pulled away again. “I’m glad you’re still here Jake…”

“I love you too much to give in…”

“It’s getting colder can we go back in?” 

Jake held her hand as they walked back in.

Kay tried a few times to talk to Jake about everything but on occasion she broke down in tears. Jake asked for the bill and insisted he drove Kay home. 

He walked her to the front door and Kay turned to him and said, “I am sorry about tonight.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m just glad you are talking to me again.” As Jake was walking away Kay was half way in the door when she saw Spencer, “Kay, invite Jake in.” He gave a reassuring smile and just as Jake was about to get in his car he heard Kay shout. He shut the door as he saw her walk towards him and met her halfway.

“Is everything alright?”

“Would you like to come inside so we can talk more?” Jake’s smile said it all as he followed her inside. 

They saw Spencer and Tracy sitting watching TV as they walked in, “Jake is your car outside?” Jake nodded in surprise at the question as Spencer added, “Let’s put your car in the garage because it will be safer in there than out on the street.”

When they left Tracy asked, “Did you have a good evening?” Kay threw herself onto the sofa, “I cried most of the evening.”

“Kay, I know that I’ll never replace your Mum but if you ever need to talk, I am here.” Kay smiled at her and asked, “How can I be me again, with Jake?”

“I’d say one day at a time and do you love him?”

“I do but when the thought of Jake and I together in bed…”

“You can say it Kay! You mean having sex.”

“Yes that’s it but when I do it suddenly gets replaced by him.” 

Kay was getting angry and upset when Tracy asked, “Why did you invite Jake in tonight?”

“Dad said…”

“Spenc, encouraged you but you were the one who shouted after Jake because I think deep down you want him here.”

“Ok Spencer what was the real reason you called me to the garage?”

“I want to know how tonight went?”

“She talked and cried. I hate seeing her like this.”

“At least she is talking to you. Listen what are you doing on Kay’s birthday?”

“Oh shit I forgot with all this going on.”

“Don’t worry you have time it’s in a few weeks and I’m arranging a party for her. I would like you there. I’ve asked your parents…”

“You what?” Jake was now in a panic and Spencer smiled as he said, “Don’t worry it’s not a surprise engagement or wedding for you and Kay…”

“Very funny; why the big event? Kay might not be up to it.”

“It is an important day for Kay and I want to make it special for her.” Jake hated asking but had to know, “And that bastard?”

“He is facing prosecution and they are looking into just using Kay’s statement rather than her having to go to court.”

“Good.” 

Jake headed to the door to go back to Kay when Spencer asked, “What are your intentions towards Kay.”

“Jake stopped and said in a low voice, “This goes no further but you and me,” Spencer agreed as Jake continued, “Kay got to me like I thought no woman would. She is all I think about so all I know is I want to spend the rest of my life with Kay.”

“Do you mean marriage?”

“I would like that but being with her is what matters at the moment.” Spencer followed Jake back into the house and Tracy asked Spencer to help her in the kitchen. 

Jake sat next to Kay, “Do you think they want us to be alone?”

“Maybe, Jake...never mind…” Kay fell silent feeling torn about what she thought she should do and wanted to do.

“Kay!” Tracy glanced over at Kay and nodded a smile as Kay took a deep breath and asked, “Jake could you stay the night?” Jake was in shock as he asked carefully, “How do you mean?”

“I miss us; I miss you just holding me.”

When they were alone in Kay’s room Jake lay on the bed waiting for Kay to change. His head was spinning, ‘Is this right? Should I be here? Will this make things worse?’ When Kay finally came out of the bathroom in PJ’s, she lay next to Jake. 

He spoke with a nervous tone and asked, “Kay, are you sure you want me here?”

“I’m just trying to listen to my counsellor and I know that I am comfortable with you and I trust you. Would you be ok just holding me until I slept?”

“I’d like that but I think once you fall asleep, I will sleep on the floor for now.” 

Kay agreed and Jake scooped her up in his arms and just held her until she fell asleep. When she had finally closed her eyes he kissed her forehead and in a whisper said, “I love you Kay.” Then he made his way to the sleeping bag on the floor.